30 REASONS THAT MAKES QUITTING THE HABIT OF SMOKING DIFFICULT

Article by R.Manoj, Clinical psychologist, Psychotherapist and counsellor, Chennai

Its a well known fact that smoking tobacco is “INJURIOUS TO HEALTH” as prominently displayed on the cover of cigarette boxes which also has the photograph of a cancer affected patient which by itself should cause aversion towards the habit. More than 90% of people who smoke know that it can cause cancer and nearly the same percentage of non-smokers understand the impact of passive smoking.  But most of the habituated smokers just ignore or overlook the caution and their knowledge, because they believe that they cannot quit. Listed here are the 30 reasons that make quitting the habit of smoking difficult

1.    Smoking is more of a psychological habit rather than physical demand

2.    There is a strong feeling that it’s a very simple habit, it is not addictive and you can quit whenever you want to.

3.    The health hazards are not visible and the impact is known when it reaches a chronic stage

4.    Smoking is a habit which nearly everyone can afford to have. The cost of one time usage is very less when compared to any other habit, even though the cumulative cost may be very high and everyone has a choice according to their financial capacity.

5.    The habit seen as a very natural one such as eating, breathing and sleeping

6.    There is no social stigma associated with smoking

7.    Getting in to the habit of smoking is treated as a part of normal developmental process and not as an harmful habit

8.    The habit of smoking is believed to help you to create and maintain social circle with ease

9.    It is easy to carry and use

10. It enjoys the freedom of any where any time which is not possible in other addictive habits

11. It is felt to be the best way to get engaged while taking short breaks

12. It is supposed to be the best way to distract yourself from the thoughts associated with stress and distress

13. Availability of a number of successful role models who have the habit of smoking

14. Nearly every movie has at least one character that smoke and in most of the cases the prime hero himself using smoking on various positive and negative situations there by advocating the habit

15. It is believed that smoking can relax you whenever you are anxious of tensed

16. There is always a circle of friends or colleagues around you who motivate or even force you to smoke

17. It’s the easiest way of getting yourself in uncommitted engagement whenever you are bored

18. Smoking is believe to help in maintaining alertness, attention and concentration

19. It’s also believed that smoking can increase the courage and confidence.

20. The strong belief that once a person enters the habit he will never be able to quit and it needs extraordinary will power to quit

21. In many cases smoking is pursued more as a ritual without understanding why they do it and what they get out of it

22. The stimulation associated with smoking is mild and it never affects the functional abilities of an individual

23. There frequent reminders which remind you to have a smoke from various quarters such a people around, the attractive ads by tobacco companies done with the only motive of market their product etc.

24. The belief that the physical posture of smoking, manifests a macho effect.

25. The strong belief that there is something really useful in smoking and you cannot reject the fact just because you don’t feel it based, on the idea that if there is no real effect why a good percentage of the population are involving in it.

26. The strong feeling that you are missing something if you don’t smoke, what other people are enjoying

27. Most of the smokers never explore the reasons on why they should quit

28. There is significant fear associated with sustaining the decision to quit

29. The fear that you will be isolated if you are a non-smoker

30. The irrational reasoning by majority of the smoking population that there are lot more harmful things that are a part of our day to day life and which cannot be avoided such as air pollution. Also these people quoting the life span of smokers who have had reasonably long life and leaving out the scores of people who have died early due to their habit, just to prove the point that smoking does not reduce your lifespan. This can virtually break down your belief that smoking is harmful

Expect the unexpected – Fear or success (FOS) by R.Manoj Clinical Psychologist and Counselor, Chennai

              It’s a very common experience to come across people who are stressed or suffer from significant anxiety due to fear of failure. Many a times we professionals look for this sentiment in people who come to us with problems related to stress or anxiety. Equally so what we fail to check or find out is whether the client has fear of success.

            Can anybody imagine having fear of achieving success. Even though many out-rightly reject the concept a majority of population do suffer from it and it is one of the biggest obstacle they can have on their road to success.

             we may have a goal  which we  really want to achieve. the path to the goal would seems clear enough and might even be an interesting challenge, we would also be confident that we  will be able to achieve it with adequate efforts. But with a whole lot things necessary associated with success being present we may find that  our progress towards success may be slow.

            Sometimes occasionally we make some progress in the path, but we just don’t seem to be taking enough action to reach it. We may be sure that the possibilities of failure is nearly nil and we are not really afraid of failure or rejection.

            Even though we don’t take any conscious efforts to slow down the progress we do sense a feeling of lethargy and laziness which prevent our energetic pursuit to the intended goal. We also find that  most of the time we don’t seem to get things going the way we really want to and  also find it difficult to find any concrete reason.  This often happens with long-term goals that require intermittent action. Many people think they are suffering fear of failure. But a proper evaluation and understand may prove it to be a dynamically opposite disposition, one most unacceptable to the majority of the population “The fear of success (FOS)”. In fact, in many cases people suffering from FOS are trying to mask it as just laziness, lack of motivation and even as the fear of failure.

            Both in our professional approach and personal experience we have to be pretty careful about FOS because the risk related to FOS unlike fear of failure and fear of rejection, is that , its is treacherous and far  more insidious because its almost always unconscious. So when you (even unknowingly) avoid working on your goal when you feel that everything  is smooth and in order then you have to verify the existence of FOS, because with FOS, you actually start  reinforce the habit of procrastination, so as time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to get yourself to take action.

WHAT IS FEAR OF SUCCESS (FOS)?

FOS is the: 

• Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content, or satisfied once you reach your goal.
• Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes.
• Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored which would burden you with the stress of maintaining the status, leading to increase in responsibilities and pressure to perform
• Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life.
• Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime.
• Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accomplish, it will never be enough to sustain success.
• Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record.
• Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment.
• Fear of vacuum or stagnancy after achieving , a feeling that you will not have any thing to do after you have achieved your goal
• Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade.
• Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments; that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.
• Increase the confidence beyond a limit thereby making them vulnerable for committing mistakes which may hinder other long term goals.
• Guilt feeling that your success is the result of  the failure of some other person
• Fear of getting alienated from the existing group which you have been comfortable with
• Fear of missing some thing that is more valuable in your pursuit of one specific goal
• Fear of hurting your immediate friends or accomplices or even losing who are not successful in achieving their intended goals
• Belief that success would lead to situations you do not know how to handle.
• Fear that success would result in Chaos and uncertainty due to lack of knowledge or apprehensions about the results.
• Fear of being rejected or alienated by people
• Fear of having our paraded in front of others as brand image of success or role models  rained upon, 
• Fear of  having the success somehow invalidated or even ripped away overnight

                                                                                                               

IRRATIONAL BELIEFS OF PEOPLE WITH FOS:

• I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it. 
• I know people care about me when I am down and out, but will they like me when I am on top and successful?
• I've never been happy before, so how can I be sure I'll be happy once I achieve my goals?
• I am nothing, and I deserve nothing.
• How can people like me if I succeed in reaching my goals in life?
• I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals.
• How can I be sure that my good fortunes won't go sour and be destroyed?
• There are always more demands and more needs that have to be met in order for me to be successful, no matter what I do it will never be enough.
• They are all better, brighter, smarter, and more talented than I am. I really don't deserve to be successful. It's hard to be at the top!
• Everyone is out to shoot down the head man!
• No one really likes a winner.
• Everyone goes for the underdog.
• I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged.
• Hard work, no play, and constant effort make me happy. What would I do if it were different?
• I feel so guilty when I realize how much I have been given in my life.
• I'm always afraid I'm going to lose it all.
• Starting over again gives me meaning and a sense of mission and purpose.
• I'm so bored with what I've accomplished. What's left to do?
• Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to.

WHO ARE VULNERABLE TO FOS

• People with significant Approach -Avoidance conflicts
• People with low self esteem
• People who are immensely focused on a single Goal
• People with significant attention seeking behavior
• People who are apprehensive about freedom, independence and sense of vacuum
• People who feel secure under person of dominant nature

FEAR OF SUCCESS CAN RESULT IN:

• A lack of effort to achieve goals they have set for themselves in every walk of their life including personal growth.
• Self-destructive behavior leading to tripping yourself up to make sure you do not sustain a certain level of success or achievement consistently
• Problems making decisions
• Lack of motivation and interest to solve problems leading to stagnation in progress
• Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve, and succeed Leading to chronic underachievement.
• Feeling guilty, confused, and anxious when they do achieve success.
• In ability to feel and enjoy the sense and fruits if success     
• Sabotaging any gains made in personal growth and mental health, with the fear of losing attention that was available while being a victim.
• Getting habituated to receiving help, sympathy, and compassionate support.
• Developing high reaction formation tendencies- choosing to do just the opposite of what needs to be done to be happy, healthy, and successful.
• Reinforcing your chronic negativity and pessimism leading to inability feel contended and happy.
• Denouncing your achievements and accomplishments; seeking ways in which the gains can  be denigrated

TIPS OVERCOMING FOS

• Learn to reinforce yourself frequently for the hard work, effort, and sacrifices you've made to achieve success
• Compartmentalize long terms goals to short term ones and get habituated to the sense and happiness of succeeds at the end of accomplishments of every stint
• Learn to honestly appraise your level of achievement, success, and accomplishment
• Develop acceptance of being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous, and accomplished
• Avoid giving excuses for being unsuccessful
• Empower significant others in your life to give honest, open, candid feedback when they see you self-destructing or backsliding
•  Monitor your level of commitment and motivation to reach your goals
• Start giving others credit, recognition, and support for their personal achievements, successes, and accomplishments
• Get habituated to honest, open, realistic self-talk that encourages you to work your hardest to achieve the goals you have set for yourself
• Start accepting compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind